What amuses me about Badenoch is how Nigerian she is. True. Because we have a vibrant yabis culture in this country. I always say it – the fastest way to start a conversation with a total stranger in this country is to look at them, sigh deeply, and say, ‘Hmm, this country na wa o’. And, I tell you, from Area 1 to Zuba, you will be competing for who has the worst stories. If you say how they kidnapped your mother, they will answer, ‘You, you are even lucky. Me, that they kidnapped my mother on the same day my father had stroke and the hospital refused to admit him because doctors were on strike.’
Is the Conservative Party aware? That a complete Nigerian politician is leading them, down to the use of tribalism when cornered. Honestly, I had to stop myself from laughing out when she said – I am not even Nigerian sef, I am Yoruba.
True, with that kind of talk, she can win election in Lagos today. Even though I didn’t recognide the Lagos she described o, the one where bullets were flying outside her window. And where did I not live growing up there? From Shomolu, to Festac, to Sango, to Ajuwon, to V.I – it was afro juju that used to disturb in the night o. But while campaigning, Nigerian lions regularly present themselves as roasted corn eating vegetarians. And Badenoch is campaigning. So…
Clearly, she is a product of our civic culture. No, not the better side of it, steeped in Pan-African pride, where Fela’s words are forever emblazoned: ‘Dem wan dash us human right. Animal wan dash us human right’. No. Not that side. Where his mother, the Lioness of Lisabi, Funmilayo, is asking the British District Officer suppressing the women’s right to vote if his head is correct. Where Gambo Sawaba is having her head shaved with broken bottle rather than stay submissive. Where Stella Adadevoh is standing up to the duty. Where Chris Anyanwu is braving jail in her struggle for freedom of speech. And Aisha Yesufu is raising a fist in a cloud of tear gas. No. Badenoch is not a product of that side of our civic culture. She is a product of the other side, the darker side, of our civic culture. You know? Where oyibo’s affirmation titillates to high heavens. Where Nigerian employer is asking you if you have foreign degree. Where the misdeeds of politicians is sufficient to label us all ‘useless’. And you wear disdain of country and obsession with tribe like badge of honor.
As if tribe is better than country. As if every part of the country is not under the control of the dominant tribe there, and yet country no good. You know? So that the war-torn Lagos she says she grew up in was ruled by people from her tribe, and the policeman she says stole her brother’s shoes probably from there too. And yet while happy to identify with tribe in Africa, she goes to Europe and wants to lead, and build, a multicultural nation there. Chai, you see this life eh? E no balance.
But, in the end, does hypocrisy have a tribe? Does bigotry have a state? Does a political culture that rewards watery-mouthed politicians willing to sell their own mothers for a vote have a nationality? No. So, I wish her well. Let her remember that the UK has left Europe, is losing its commonwealth, and may not be able to leverage on its ‘special relationship’ with the US like before. Her country needs friends. But,of course, all around the world, her kind of politics appears to be the one moving at the moment, and the average politician – notwithstanding their claims to thought leadership – tend to win by jumping on trends, not starting them.
So, she is not our problem. The wave she is riding on top our head, she did not make. I look forward to the day when it will not be Nigeria looking out for the most recently successful individual on the global stage with a link, no matter how tenuous to Nigeria, to claim. For it is an agbaya country that enters the room, always, sitting lazily on the shoulders of its exceptionally talented ones. True giants carry theirs. And it is these same vices – hatred of country, obsession with tribe – that irritates us so much in Badenoch, it is these same vices that prevent so many of us, each time we are given the opportunity, from choosing the best to represent us, so that our country may become a true giant. So, really, before you bury Badenoch for tearing our pant in public, look in the mirror. It is the worst of who we are that she has portrayed. Do you show any different?